Life Lessons from a College Student Who’s Just Trying Their Best

Two days into the week and I’m already reflecting. Here’s what I’ve learned in the past 48 hours:

Two Red Bulls are too much.

I currently feel as if every atom of my being is vibrating rapidly, and not in a good way. I wish I would have just opted for the nap that my body desperately needs. Currently residing in a caffeine-induced hell of my own making.

Exhibit A: The effects of a caffeine fueled study session hours before a college student’s last final exam of the semester.

Vegetable soup can give you food poisoning.

Speaking for a bedridden friend. Who would’ve thought that something virtually as immortal as vegetable soup could wreck your week?

Competitive eating is not my calling.

3 girls, 15 minutes, one gigantic sandwich and a pound of waffle pries. The Adam Emmenecker Challenge: a spicy pickle, bun, pork tenderloin, buffalo chicken tenders, white cheddar sauce, fried cheese cubes, brisket, applewood smoked bacon, cheeseburger, and a pound of waffle fries.

10 minutes in I was laying on the floor, bathroom stall door open, throwing up all the food I had shoveled down with tears in my eyes.

And to make matters worse, this was a spectated event on campus. All my peers got to see me lockjaw and sweating, choking on a pan fried pork tenderloin.   

Group projects can unite unlikely friends.

All it takes is one unbearable group member to form a bond with those you previously had nothing in common with. The moment the second group chat gets made without the group monster is the start of a beautiful friendship.

Free stuff is college students’ drug of choice.

College students flock to free things. Free food? Say less. The promise of free food not from the campus dining hall will have me walking across campus in the rain wearing my pajamas.

Give college students a fish, and you feed them for a day. Try and teach college students to fish, and they won’t even show up. College students are like stray cats, if you feed them once and they’ll keep coming back for the handouts.

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